


A Mean Spleen Transitionin' Machine

by HorseCrazyWriter76



Series: Adventures in Gender [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Trans Roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 17:52:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18320291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorseCrazyWriter76/pseuds/HorseCrazyWriter76
Summary: Roman is coming out to the last of his three closest friends. It doesn't quite go as planned, but that's not really a bad thing.Or: Roman is trans and tense about coming out to Virgil, then everything dissolves to fluff by the end.





	A Mean Spleen Transitionin' Machine

**Author's Note:**

> I know the title makes almost zero sense. I used up my allotted creative juices for the day on the actual writing then just looked at the list of Roman's nicknames for something usable.

Virgil barely glanced up from his phone when the door opened. It was almost 5pm, Romana’s time to come in and be a brilliant drama queen.

“Salutations, Virgil,” a voice much deeper and more formal than Romana’s greeted his ears. He glanced up at Logan in surprise, then his eyes locked onto the two forms behind him, Patton and Romana.

“Uh, guys? What’s happening?” he asked and pulled his legs in so he was only taking up one cushion where previously he had been spread across three. Logan settled onto an armchair, Patton sat next to him, and Romana stayed where she was. Her face was painted with some mixture of emotions he couldn’t completely read, but he knew fear was one of them. He glanced between Logan and Patton. Logan, unreadable, offered no clue. Patton, hopeful, only confused him more.

“Virgil, have you ever heard of someone being transgender?” Patton was the first to speak. Virgil relaxed a fraction. One of them was coming out as trans. He glanced quickly between the faces, Romana probably, although he could definitely see Patton as a girl. Logan took his silence as not knowing and immediately launched into a lecture on the different kinds of hormone therapies and surgeries, with, Virgil noted, a slight emphasis on the FtM ones. So, Romana was the one born in the wrong body or whatever mumbo jumbo they used. Don’t get him wrong, he was all for people being themselves, but that poetic stuff didn’t make much sense to him. He kinda zoned out as Logan began to go into a history lecture, starting at the first trans man to fully transition medically(Laurence Michael Dillon).

“Virgil?” Patton’s voice snapped him out of his trance.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I still hate you the same amount, Romano,” he replied, realizing all eyes had fallen on him. 

“Wha-I haven’t even said anything and that’s not what I’m changing my name to!” Romana, Romano, whatever his name actually was going to be, finally spoke up, drowning out Patton’s noise of protest at Virgil saying he hated him.

“Please, you come in looking like a deer in the headlights and Logan gives a lecture on trans history? Tell me what else that could mean.”

“Fine. But it’s Roman! Who wants to pick a name that’s shared by cheese?”

“I am certain you would find several examples if you looked deeply enough.”

“It was a rhetorical question, Logan, okay?”

“I am simply positing-”

“Eh, L, come on.”

“Well I think all names are awesome and come with their own special meanings!”

“But we all know if you were trans you’d name yourself after a breed of dog, cat, or a type of cookie.”

“Well, that’s a little ruff, don’t you think?” Patton replied with a smile. Logan groaned, while Virgil and Roman smirked at his pun.

“Hm, maybe Ginger? No, Akita has a nicer ring to it,” Roman replied.

“I think if I ever decided to change my name I wouldn’t be able to pick one. Although Akita is a very cute name, and a cute breed.”

“I think we’ve got a winner, what do you think, Patton? Or should I say, Akita?”

“Too far, Romano cheese.”

“You can go back to calling me Sing-A-Lots now!”

“I dunno, I kinda like Romano.”

“La la la la la la la la.”

“Actually, genuine question, you were into guys before. Were you just faking attraction or are you a gay trans man.”

“The gayest of all men!” Roman replied, throwing himself over the couch with his head in Virgil’s lap and his feet in Patton’s.

“Pat, pat,” he smirked, tapping Roman’s head.

“Pat, pat, indeed, what are you doing to my feet?”

“One piggy went to the market,” Patton replied, and the three burst out in laughter as Roman pulled his feet back.

“Hey, where’d Logan go?” Virgil asked, glancing around.

“He, who is currently referring to himself in third person, went to cook dinner.”

“I think we all got you were referring to yourself in third person.”

“Well, a little clarity never hurt anybody.”

“Yeah, yeah. Why is it that all my friends turn out to be gays?” Virgil asked no one in particular.

“Well, it-”

“Rhetorical question, L.”

“Perhaps you should clarify.”

“Perhaps clarity can stick to nerds!”

“Ro-”

“Actually, I don’t mind being called a nerd. Although it is often used in a derogatory fashion, almost all definitions include being devoted to academic pursuits, something I believe applies to myself.”

“See, the Microsoft Nerd likes being called a nerd!”

“Not particularly, but it’s not a term I find offensive. My name serves the purpose much more effectively.”

“But it’s more fun to call you Microsoft Turd.”

“Same joke.”

“It was a variation and I can think of a Microsoft Third, oh, look, I just did!”

“How did we get from you coming out as trans to Virgil to you insulting Logan?”

“I’m not insulting him!”

“True. Also, I believe-”

“Another rhetorical question.”

“This is where clarity helps immensely.”

“We all know your opinion on clarity.”

“I rolled my eyes at that statement. Dinner is ready.”

“Already?”

“There were enough left-overs and I recall you enjoying the last meal I made.”

“Those enchilada things? I get first one!”  
“I already served myself the first one, Roman.”

“I get second one!”

“That honor will go to me, Princey.”

“Oh, I like that one more than Sing-A-Lots.”

“Ha! Mine!” Virgil triumphantly grabbed an enchilada from the stacks.

“They’re not even proper enchiladas,” Roman sulked and grabbed one off the pile. 

“Well, if you’d like to make “proper” enchiladas you are welcome to,” Logan replied. Roman’s only reply was to take a big bite of his enchilada, which then forced him to chew with his mouth open.

“Romano, that’s not very princely of you.”

“I gave you too much power by showing I hate that nickname,” Roman complained once he’d swallowed. Virgil’s only reply was an evil laugh.


End file.
